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“Your Chinese is so good!”
I struck up a conversation with a Chinese woman sitting at the neighboring table. I asked her and her date if they thought the food we had was authentic.
She thought so, and I asked her if she was from mainland China. She said yes, she’d just gotten here this year for an MBA at Duke. I told her my parents were from Taiwan, but I was born here in the US.
Hearing this, she immediately said:
Your Chinese is so good!
I took it as a compliment and thanked her.
The last time someone complimented me on my language skills was my previous boyfriend, who said, “Your English is so good!”
What both these experiences tell me is that when you’re Asian-American, you kind of live a hyphenated existence.
In Asia, they see you as American.
In America, they see you as Asian.
You’re something in between, without a home in either.
I know people mean well when they compliment you on your language skills, but there’s a sort of othering that comes with it.
I’ll never be seen as fully Taiwanese by Chinese or Taiwanese people.
I’ll never be seen as fully American by people of all races in the US.
