Member-only story
Self-medicating ain’t the way to go
Sharing what I’ve learned
Lately, my sleep cycle has been extremely disrupted by caffeine.
Today (or should I say yesterday, since it’s past midnight?) I had coffee around 2 PM. I’m still up, and it’s 2 AM where I am now.
I took my normal medications around 12 AM, but the sleepiness hasn’t kicked in just yet.
I do wonder if my best writing is done at this time precisely because my personality hasn’t been medicated away.
So much of what I take numbs me and makes my thoughts slow down. But it makes me wonder if it puts me at risk of losing who I am, what I enjoy, and what I believe.
But I know without these meds, I can’t function at all.
It’s a hard balance to strike, knowing something’s good for you and acting on that knowledge.
I do think I need to stick to my no-coffee-after-12pm rule, though. I haven’t experienced insomnia like this for quite a while.
Alcohol does not help depression. Caffeine helps productivity to a point. And prescribed medication can help balance everything out. It takes the highs and makes them less high. Takes the lows and makes them less low. But still the fluctuations in mood are crazy when I take anything that may alter them in any form.
