Life with an Anxious-Attachment Style

How knowing my anxious-attachment style has influenced my daily life

Photo by lilartsy on Unsplash

The first time I heard of attachment styles, I felt like someone finally understood me.

I’d been pursuing love through relationships for so long. Looking for that special someone who’d love me the way I loved them. Feeling like love was elusive and for people who deserved it more than I did.

And then I realized that the people I’d been pursuing may not have complementary attachment styles that were helpful.

One relationship that really stands out to me (even though we weren’t technically boyfriend-girlfriend) is a guy who was textbook avoidant.

I tried to get closer to him, but it seemed like all my efforts pushed him further away. I’d overanalyze everything, including the times he rarely texted me, reading meanings that weren’t there.

It wasn’t until I met my current boyfriend, who has a secure attachment style, that I knew what it was like to be truly loved in a stable relationship.

Whatever insecurities I have, he embraces.

Whatever needs I have, he fulfills. (Not always, but most of the time.)