Less moping, more hoping

Gearing myself for more optimism

I’ve been pretty tired lately: tired of moping around and feeling sorry for myself.

I think I’m being more galvanized towards action. There’s so much going on in the world that’s outside of my control, but the thing I can control is my reaction to it. (…except for my strange allergic reaction, that is.) That was an idea I got from Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl.

If I don’t like how things are going, I can do what’s in my power to change what I can. I’m not happy with my current weight/body, so I can make small adjustments to my diet and exercise to try and fix that. I’m not happy with my job prospects, so all I can do is keep applying and trying even when I’m feeling down.

I’m probably going to take up gratitude journaling to focus on the positives in life. Most of my problems are not dire or life-threatening. But it’s better than not having problems at all, or I’d have a tough time finding things to work on. To me, if I’m not working on improving myself, I’m merely wasting time. Finding meaning in rests and pauses is important, too, but I still need to do more than I already am.

I saw a social media post about how being autistic or on the spectrum means daily life is significantly harder for you than it is for someone who’s neurotypical. But within a culture that values achievement, productivity, and hard work, facing conditions that work against you is so, so difficult.

It’s been a struggle to come to terms with my own capacity and limits for growth and work. Sometimes all it takes is a little boredom or feeling fed up to motivate myself to keep going.

I’m done moping.

Here’s to hoping.