“Be kind to your mind.”
That was what I said to myself over and over again before I drifted off to sleep the day everything happened.
I knew I took things hard. I cried for at least three hours. But somehow, it felt kind of… cathartic.
Sometimes it’s nice to lean into sadness. Not that I was happy that I was sad: I just let myself feel the emotion and let go of it once I was through.
Sometimes all you can do is ride the wave of emotion and pray it takes you to shores unseen.
Making a firm decision to be kinder to myself has proved better than I hoped. I don’t think it’s good to delude yourself into thinking perpetually that you deserve only the best or that you’re always right. But being gentle with yourself when you fall/fail can make you more resilient.
Honestly, life throws obstacles in your way all the time. The only thing you have control over is how you react, and I’m hoping I can learn to control my reactions better over time.
Maybe that’s the most we can do sometimes. When things are out of your control, you accept them. You don’t always have to take the shit that’s tossed at you, but you can decide how you want to move forward. You are in control of yourself, at the end of the day. And that’s all you can really do.
This practice of gratitude to myself may seem like an ego boost, but I’m not trying to be selfish. I’m trying to love myself for the first time in my life.
Who better to fall in love with than yourself?