Member-only story
A scattered status update
When you’re depressed, showing up is half the battle.
I would never wish it on even my worst enemies.
(Although I don’t honestly have “enemies.” I’m too much of a people pleaser to make enemies somehow.)
Right now, I’m still addicted to social media, video games, and books. I try to make an effort to crochet every week, but sometimes I flake because I have schoolwork that I put off for too long.
I’m definitely addicted, though. It’s a major problem, but this beats anhedonia. Or finding living cumbersome rather than remembering the joys.
As someone who seems to be thriving right now, for some reason, I’m struck with impostor syndrome again. Who am I to try and stay positive when there’s so much ish going on in the world? Why do I try to improve myself when I could be doing more good by directing my efforts toward helping people?
But to me, success historically has been measured by my ability to function.
Something so basic, yet so difficult. I still wake up when I set alarms. I go to work even when I’m not feeling it. It’s hard sometimes, but at least I have a job, right? I cook the occasional meal. I try to eat at least twice a day. I’m walking more than I used to, and the benefits of that have been amazing, but it’s really weather-permitting. So…
